How To Survive Being Bed Bound
Three deep breaths...
The sun comes up, light fills your room, the world is stirring and your brain is sweeping out the cobwebs, but your body hasn’t quite got the message. All night muscle spasms have left it fading, shivers of pain are running up and down every nerve ending and that all too familiar fuzzy feeling has crawled down your legs and into your toes.
Three deep breaths...
You stretch out your arm until your fingers can curl around that trusty ridge at the top of your mattress, with all the might your cracking fingers can muster, you pull yourself closer to the edge. Three deeps breaths in and you lurch upwards, swinging your legs over the side of the bed with the teeniest of yelps as everything in your body screams at you to stop and dive for cover again.
Three deep breaths...
You brace your hands on top of the mattress, rub your feet into the floor and jerk yourself up. Usually this is followed by a topsy turvy walk to the bedroom door as the black spots recede and you usher the pain into the backlot of your sluggish brain. No such luck today.
Searing pain shoots up your spine and you find your butt on the mattress again. Two more attempts and you’re still in the same position, except now the pins and needles have seeped up into your spine and you can no longer put weight on your feet without tipping over.
Three deep breaths...
You fall back onto the pillows, curl yourself into a ball and haul the sheets back over your head. Here we go again. A seaside view of the shittiest beach around - your bed.
How many of you have repeated this cycle on those days when your body decides it’s dead set on proving that mind over matter is utter bullshit?
I’m sure everyone has a million little secrets for surviving them, but in case you’re in need of a few more here are a few of mine:
Find something to occupy those idle hands.
When you have to spend a lot of your time lying horizontal, boredom looms quickly. Netflix and Instagram can only hold your attention for so long before they become mind numbing. If you have to be bed bound then it’s important to carve out some time to get your brain moving.
One of my favourite past times is practicing tricks with my butterfly knife. It gets my hands moving, which is perfect if you’re like me and your hands love to spasm and cramp, and the concentration it requires helps keep the pain in the back my mind. If you’re scared of knocking your knuckles you could try card tricks, or even spinning a pen around your fingers. It’s great for gentle physio and it makes you feel like you’re being active, even if everything but your hands is static.
Pack that survival drawer full of the necessities.
Being trapped within the confines of a double bed becomes pretty taxing on our stomachs and our heads. You often end up ordering take out that you really can’t afford or, far more often, just not eating at all. Pain eats away at your appetite and a lack of fuel can stretch out those bad days for far longer.
To tackle this, I’ve started keeping a stack of cereal bars, rice crackers and apples within arm’s reach of my bed. So even if I can’t make it to my kitchen to cook a proper meal, I can at least fill my body with some sustenance. Also, make sure it’s stacked full of sweets. You can never have enough sugar when you’re bedbound.
Explore a new community online - there are thousands
One of the hardest parts of being sick is realising that your loved ones cannot truly understand what you’re going through. While this may be true of your able bodied friends and family, there are countless people out there who do understand what it’s like to live with chronic pain and illness. There are thousands of chronic illnesses in the world and you will always be able to find one person who can sympathise with your situation. If you’re struggling with opening up to those closest to you, don’t give up - try someone else!
Although the sympathy you receive from loved ones can be well intentioned, it often doesn’t align with what you really need to hear and there are thousands of people out there who understand that.
Technology has granted everyone with an internet connection the power to talk to absolutely anyone, so don’t just rely on the able bodied people in your life to help you. Type in the name of your condition into any search engine or social media app and you will find plenty of people just waiting to reach out a helping hand.
Pick up the damn phone!
Usually by day three of a bad week, my mind is beginning to dance around the depression whirlpool. One step too close and I can be sucked in for days with no life jacket in sight. Being sick long term forces you to make room in your old life for a huge new personality - illness. Making those life changes can eat away at you so it’s important to find ways to protect your mental health whenever you can. While we don’t have power to change our bodies or our brain chemistry, we do have power over how we communicate our problems. Never wait until it’s “bad enough” to reach out. Being stuck in one place is brutally isolating and withdrawing from the real and digital worlds just exacerbates that loneliness. It can feel like you’re becoming a burden too hard to bare if you lean on your loved ones, but people who truly love you will never turn you away. And you don’t have to call them just to unravel, sometimes just hearing someone else’s voice can lift you up and allow you to be yourself again.
But if you’re like me and you know that you just won’t reach out in those dark moments, try to open up when you’re in a good place and ask loved ones to check in once in a while to keep you from falling off the grid too easily.
Invest in the cuddliest of cuddly toys
Sometime around your mid teens, cuddly toys suddenly become uncool. You’re ridiculed if you have too many and people think it’s a sign of childishness to own them. Those fools could not be more wrong. Cuddly toys are a huge commercial success for a reason - they comfort people. Having something to hug and nuzzle into can make all the difference when you’re spending long days immobile and alone. If you have a collection buried somewhere in the back of your wardrobe, get them out. If you don’t have one, treat yourself. I highly recommend Build-A-Bear.
I have two that fit just right in my chest and they help alleviate the pressure on my upper spine when I’m lying sideways. Plus they’re really fucking cute and just looking at them can bring a smile to my face when I’m eight hours into immobilisation. If you still can’t shake the feeling of childishness, then I encourage you to invest in a pregnancy pillow. They’re just as huggable and they provide even more support.
Forgive yourself
I can’t say this enough to anyone with a chronic illness - it’s not your fault that you’re sick. Being forced to take countless sick days for chronic illness can be infuriating, especially if you’re a workaholic like me, and it’s far too easy to start blaming yourself when you’re stuck in bed all day. Those dark thoughts start whirling around up there and before you know it you’ve blamed yourself for every problem at work, at home and in your body.
There are many things in life that we’re personally responsible for but how our body reacts to illness is not one of them. It’s not your fault that you are stuck here, it’s not your fault that work need you to be there, it’s not your fault that you missed another social gathering, it’s not your fault that you have to choose rest over action.
Forgiveness is powerful and it’s even more important when you’re isolated on a bed day. Blame settles far too quickly on your shoulders when there’s no one around to dispel it, so you have to be your own guardian. If you’re struggling to win the battle in your own head, try writing down some affirmations. I have a list of them in my journal for days when I’m struggling to find something positive to cling to. Try writing yours down and keep it close by for when you’re stuck in bed.
Reward yourself
Last but not least, there’s a painkiller in all of our bodies that far too many people ignore in favour of high strength painkillers and opioids. While pain medication can be crucial for managing chronic illness, there are other more pleasurable options that you should explore. If you’re stuck in bed all day, then why not treat yourself? Push those idle hands down south and use your own pleasure centres to help release some of that tension.
On excruciating pain days, I often find that masturbation and achieving orgasms is the only way to block out the pain. It releases all of my muscles, which helps to reduce spasms, and it floods your entire body with endorphins and wards off the worse of the pain. It may not be a permanent solution but it’s certainly one worth exploring, even if it’s just for the orgasm.